Sugar-coated past

One of favourite candies from my childhood is Wonka Runts. Fruit-shaped fruity hard candies! I liked getting each flavour and melting them in my mouth....

I saw them at Superstore the other day, and a wave of nostalgia inspired me to purchase a box.

Well, I should've just left the past in the past. They taste awful - just pure sugar, in a packed powder form. They're absolutely disgusting!

Some memories, you just don't mess with.

Desolate

I still want to hold your hand, smile at you, send you kisses over the phone....

Standstill

It feels like whenever I move to a new place (all two times), everyone I leave behind moves on with their lives, and I am at a standstill.

When I moved to Taiwan, time froze. I worked and played and experienced a lot of things, but I remained at the same point in my life. All my friends in Vancouver were getting married and having kids. Now that I'm back in Vancouver, all my friends in Taiwan are moving on (i.e. and over my leaving) and I feel like I'm stuck in a rut.

This feeling sucks.

Home. And yet....

I arrived back in Vancouver on Thursday night, closing a chapter of my life, and starting a new one.

It's funny, because it doesn't feel like I'm coming home. In fact, it feels like I left home. The wonderful friends and "family" I built up over the nearly 4 years, my brothers and new sis-in-law... all left behind. :(

Everything I'm coming back to... is different. So, in a way, it almost feels like I'm coming back to nothing, and have to start again.

*sigh*

以前回家的時候總是有回家的感覺。 這次，回國．．． 卻沒有回家的感覺，而是離開家的感覺。 在台灣四年來認識了很多親戚，朋友，同事．．． 成為了一個新家庭。 能認識這麼多優秀特別的好朋友，而受到他們的照顧與關懷，真是我的福氣。 真的很捨不得；回到家一直難過，超級想念他們。 =_=

咳．．． 只能掛在MSN上等他們上線，保持一點點的聯絡．．．。

I'm awake.

07:23.

I've barely slept an hour the entire night so far.

Why?

Because of ONE mosquito.

I am so tired....

Shut in

Shortly after posting that last tip, I received intel on an impending new policy at our workplace.

Starting next month, MSN and all IM programs will be banned at work. Those requiring MSN for work can apply for it (on a yearly basis). MSN usage and content will be monitored and submitted to your manager each month.

How's that for shutting off any connection to the outside world....

Now I realise that this measure is taken in the interest of productivity, but seriously if there were any way to make your employees feel imprisoned at work, this would be near the top of the list.

I also hear that some floors have already started adhering to another impending policy: no meals taken at your desk. Well, that just sounds absurd. Many employees eat meals at their desk so they can work or nap, or maybe they bring lunch from home. Unless this is only about preventing food spills on $$$$ equipment (sounds more like a high school policy), I don't see their purpose for this one....

What's next, timed bathroom trips? (I do know of one company that restricts employees to 48 minutes per day. Not kidding.)

Just break out the orange jumpsuits....

Complete bust

Well. I don't know what to say. My weekend was a complete bust. I had a full weekend all planned out - fun filled up to the brim. And not one of those plans panned out.

Friday night I went wall-climbing, and then had a night snack with the gang. I was going to go on a mini nocturnal adventure (just out wandering at night) but couldn't get a hold of my friends. I was a bit bummed out, so my coworker and I grabbed a drink from the 7-Eleven, chatted at the local basketball court until it started to rain at 03:30. When I got home I replied to a sad e-mail, almost fell asleep. My night adventure friend logged on, and we MSNed. Of course it was 06:00 by the time I really couldn't stay awake, and of course, my plans for the following day started at 06:50.

Saturday was a day in Lugang (鹿港). My coworker (different one) was going with a photography club to take pictures, and since I'd never been, I'd asked to tag along for the day.

But Saturday morning, I woke to a mobile phone displaying 07:10. I hurried out the door, but the bus was nowhere in sight, and that one person I knew going on this photography outing wasn't answering his mobile phone. I gave up at nearly 08:00 and went home, slept until 14:00. And when I woke up, in an equally blah mood... I went to work. But the not-rainy-as-anticipated weather and the nice walk to the office helped my mood immensely. I decided to help the trend by going for teppanyaki for dinner. =)

My coworker wanted to go climbing, so I went to belay for him. The climbing gang was going KTVing (or karaokeing) at midnight and then 4 of us were going to head straight to Longdong (龍洞) for some outdoor climbing. I chose to miss the first half of KTVing to pack my gear and get some work done, but when I eventually got there, I was told that there'd been a little incident and my friend (one of the 4 going to Longdong) had drowned himself in a bottle of vodka. When I left the KTV over an hour later, he was still sleeping it off.... In fact, he was in the washroom the entire time I was there; I didn't even see him. =(

And so here I am, blogging at 05:40 on Sunday morning, after the last of my highly anticipated plans got cancelled. Rightly cancelled, but still, I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't a little disappointed.

I think I'll sleep in until noon and then go to work. Work rarely disappoints.

[Editor's note: We'd been praying all week that the rain wouldn't wash away our Longdong plans. Right now, 11:51, the weather is gorgeous.... *sigh*]

SOS, computer down!

GameSetup.exe
W32.Fujacks.D worm virus.

Norton AntiVirus 2004.
Expired licence.

Panda icons everywhere.
F&#@$^%*) sh!t.

Out for a bite

May 1st is Labour Day in Taiwan. But more importantly, it's a stat holiday in Taiwan.

I've been a little down lately, and cooped up at work, so my coworker and I went out to a coffee shop about half an hour out from Hsinchu. The owner used to be the manager at our company coffee shop, but he'd opened his own coffee shop 2 years ago, a quaint shop on a little lake.

When we got there, the owner told us that the tung flowers (油桐花) were in season and recommended that my coworker and I go take a walk into a wooded area, where the flowers covered the grassy area. But it was a little disappointing because the flowers had already wilted and had been trampled by previous visitors to the area.

But worst of all were the blackflies or black mosquitoes or black whatever insects that attacked us on our leisurely stroll. The tiny insects swarmed my calves (I was wearing a dress) and pricked and pricked and pricked and pricked and pricked! Needless to say the walk was cut short and we dodged back to the safety of the road and back to the coffee shop where we immediately applied whatever balm was available.

I've been going crazy from the itch of the bites. I counted 51 bites on my right leg, and 49 on my left. Tiny bites that dot my calves like islands in the South Pacific. I've already used one third of a new tube of mosquito bite cream. Hopefully they'll fade soon, and even more hopefully they'll fade without leaving scar. <=\

Parting Company

I love my glasses. They're Flexon by Marchon - the frames that are ultra-malleable, and in a dark maroon-brown "coffee". Glasses frames that fit my small face nicely are really hard to come by, so these were the perfect find.

That was 5 or 6 years ago.

This morning, I woke early (06:50). My coworker and I were heading up to Taipei for a stroll and a relaxing day in the city. (Planned power outage at the office today, so we couldn't go to work.)

Being half-blind, the first thing I do when I gain consciousness, of course, is reach for my glasses. So I was putting them on, slightly flexing the frames outward to fit them over my face, when I heard and felt a soft <snap!>. To my complete and utter surprise, the left and right halves of my glasses had parted company, right at the center of the nosepiece.

I guess there's an expiry for their malleability. And I guess I should say, I loveD my Flexons. :(

It all happened so fast...

Before I knew it, my half-jar of citron tea jelly had slipped from my hand and was sitting on the floor, a little less intact than I wanted.

As visions of a hot citrony drink to generate warm fuzzies within my unmotivated self evaporated into the humid winter air, I groaned at the thought of having to clean up the gelatinous mess.

So I spent 10 minutes wiping down the floor with paper towels and looking for shards of glass.

And still no citron tea for me. :'(

Sicky poo.

So I took a sick day (half-day) today. But instead of getting chores and errands done, I just slept the entire morning through. Had my coworker not called me during lunchtime, I probably could've slept until dinner. It's almost too bad he did....

Definitely half empty.

My coworker TJY left on a business trip this afternoon. A 6-month-long business trip. He'll be in California (along with 7 other members of the team) to see a project through to completion.

The thing is, I don't have many friends here, so TJY is 33% of my friends. I got to know him through the hiking club. We lunch and sup together virtually everyday. At 16:00, we meet in the coffee room for our daily apple. I even see him on weekends. He's also helped me with lots of stuff: translating e-mails, explaining company procedures and local customs, etc.

So today, there was a distinct feeling of emptiness as I watched him depart. He has a girlfriend now, but I wouldn't doubt that I feel just as glum as she does.

:(

Won't even try.

I can't imagine...

...if I'd decided to stay mad at him because of a conflict the weekend before.

...if the Internet had not been available.

...if I'd gone to my meeting on time, missing his e-mail by 7 minutes.

...if I hadn't decided to call when I did.

...if the package he'd posted the week before hadn't arrived exactly on that day. Not the day before, and definitely not the day after.

There are some things that are just too horrible to imagine. So I dare not imagine them.

"Licence and registration, please."

I'd been waiting all day for 18:00 to roll around. Last night was going to be my first time go-karting.

I was just a coatrack the last time, watching from the sidelines in dress shirt, dress pants and heels. I was amazed at the control while my coworkers tore around the track at breakneck speeds, darting in and out at giant slalom speeds, taking the turns as if tethered to an elastic band. Exciting stuff.

We piled into my coworker's car. I was getting anxious. They chattered on about the last race (which I missed altogether): how So-and-So lapped What's-Their-Name twice, and how Who-Was-It-Again ended up in the grassy divide, and how That-Other-Person did a 360 spinout.

As we walked up to the race course and watched another group zip around hairpin turns, the excitement quickly fizzled into nerves. Completely flat soda. But I'd said I was going to race this time, so I wasn't about to bail. No way, no "weaker sex" here.... (Okay, so I was still jittery, but whatever!)

Once I was seated in the go-kart, fitted with a cushy helmet (that actually did fit!), I was in my element. Right, gas; left, break. No sweat.

They came by and started up the go-kart engines one by one, and one by one the karts peeled away from the pit stop. The steering wheel was stiff and suspension was minimal, but it was thrilling. I hoped my forearms wouldn't tire before the 10 minutes were up!

Cars behind were already passing me on the first lap. I rounded onto the straightaway and accelerated. I noticed a bunch of karts along the side. That was the last fleeting thought as I plowed straight into my coworker, propelling him forward 2 meters.

Oh. my. God.

No doubt there was a collective gasp from everyone (save the person I'd just rear-ended), but I didn't hear it. I froze. General bewilderment, lots of looking around, everyone must've been in shock. I'm sure my coworker's first thought was "WTF??", and not the "How did that happen??" that he told us after the race.

See, I didn't realise that we were supposed to do just one lap of the course and line up Indy-style. :(

The race track staff didn't know what else to do but to wave the flag and start the race.

I managed to pull it together for the race, but guilt and mortification were the theme words of the night. My coworkers joked about me caring for the victim for the rest of his life. I was completely laden with guilt and stricken with fear for any injury I may have caused. And I must've gone red whenever he was near, later back at the office. Couldn't even look him in the eye.

Today, he's been unavailable for comment. And so guilt continues to eat away at my innards.

Which is just as well, because the pre-race weigh-in claimed that Taiwanese food is too oily.

Imprisoned!

Today is my first real day off. I've packed everything I can pack for my move, and I've fulfilled all my obligations. Mom is off for a few days, so today is my first day of freedom, to wander about Taipei as I please.

Today is also the first day of a typhoon. It is raining buckets, and the wind is howling. While it's nowhere like a hurricane, it's still dangerous to be outside in this weather. Work has been cancelled in 9 cities of northern Taiwan, declared a typhoon holiday.

I can see rain being blown almost horizontal and several tv antennae being toppled on the lowrise buildings around us. The wind and rain are tremendous, but being situated in a basin surrounded by mountains, this is about as exciting as it gets for a typhoon here (except for flooding). Out in the countryside, where there is no shield, incredible things can happen.

And so on my first day of complete freedom, I am imprisoned in the apartment. :( The morning was spent cleaning the kitchen, where rain had dripped through the fumehood like a leaky condo. *sigh*

This ain't no tropical island.

Yesterday was the last day of exams, so at midnight undergraduate access to the building was cut off. Unfortunately Security may not have made the distinction between undergrad and grad, and when I returned to campus at 01:00 last night, I found that I was locked out of the lab building.

As I was repeatedly waving my card past the card sensor in hopes that it would suddenly decide to grant me access, my labmate S came up the stairs inside and let me in. He had been packing up to leave and made a quick trip to the bathroom (in the lobby, just outside the inner card access door), and got stranded in the lobby!

Forty minutes and several unhelpful calls to SFU Security later ("They're at the Pub Night. Call back in 10 minutes." "There was a brawl at the Pub. Call back in 15." "Okay, somebody will be over in 10." "We can't do anything about it until Monday."), my labmate S and I got let in.

We were rather concerned about this lack of access, since we both had looming deadlines and needed to work in the lab over the weekend. We ended up staying another 2 hours until almost 04:00, tag-teaming for washroom trips (letting the other back in), since we didn't know what the situation today would be.

This morning, I got a call from my other labmate N: "Are you coming up to the lab soon? My card isn't working." I told him to call Security and ask to be let in. When I arrived, N told me about how the Security supervisor wouldn't dispatch someone to let him in because "maybe [his] card access was cut off for a reason [that they weren't able to know], or maybe [he] was a bad guy."

This is not the kind of sh!t I need so close to finishing my project. Every hour counts. That said, it's back to work for me.

[ Artwork used with the permission of artist Chris Musto. ]

I've fallen, ...!

I had dry feet, so I massaged in some healing foot cream. As I headed downstairs, the somewhat greasy cream and the plastic runner had a disagreement, so my feet went up, and I went down, landing with my full weight on my left hip.

I lay on the bottom few stairs, catching my breath and letting the pain subside a bit while I mentally tallied up the damage, and, deciding that it still hurt like h#ll, I let out a straggled wail. My big brother rushed out into the hall and asked, "Are you okay??"

And then he burst into laughter. Punk a$$.

It was a 3"-diameter welt of solid purple when I took this picture 3 days ago. It has since expanded. Today, it's the size of a very loose fist (about 5" across) with a thick edge of purple; the center of the bruise has taken on a jaundice yellow ....

I'm just happy it's above my shorts line.

Yowza!

Owiiiiiieee .... I got a paper cut.

In my finger webbing.

From a carton (like a granola bar box).

Owiiiiiiieeeee .... :(

Well, it's official: I'm cross-eyed. *sigh*